Hear Our Cry

there are times when words are not enough to capture the emotions of the heart.
despair. anger. shock. awe. ambivalence. helpless.
the list goes on. and on. and on.
until there is nothing left to say.
when the silence becomes so deafening.

Typhoon Ketsana (Ondoy). in Vietnam. in the Phillipines. Indonesia.

---

what is the body?
if one part suffers, all suffers with it.
we are blessed to be a blessing.
our inconvenience is their lifeline.
this is the body.
do something about it.

world vision. others.

Whirlwind

I don't think I've ever been this busy in my life. I hope I don't burn out. And I hope I survive. But I'm excited. It's been a good start to the semester, and I'm hoping that that will continue.

Some have said that I've kind of fallen off the face of the earth. I apologize. It's like so hard to find time to just chat, talk on the phone, email, et. these days. Unbelievable, isn't it? So I decided that the least I could do to update people (the few that actually read this) is to update my blog.

My second (and hopefully, my final year) of graduate school is well underway. I'm taking a full course-load, and all the classes are very interesting. Nuclear North Korea needs no explanation. Political Risk Analysis is a class where I learn how to build political risk models. Intelligence and Foreign Policy is a class where I learn how intelligence is used to support foreign policy of a state. My classes are Tuesday through Thursdays from 8:10pm to 10:40pm. Needless to say, night classes are really tiring. I've also resumed taking Chinese class which is on Mondays from 6-9pm.

In addition, I'm interning full-time at a think tank called the Korea Economic Institute. It has been a worthwhile experience, learning new things (sometimes more than I actually learn from school) about international economy, North Korea, U.S.-Korean relations, Northeast Asian affairs, etc. I get to meet a lot of important people including former assistant Secretary of States and other officials in previous administrations. So that's been really cool, but very tiring since I work 9-5 everyday.

I've also been looking for jobs more intently, since many of the jobs I'm interested in require security clearance that can take up to a year. I've applied to or am in the process of applying to several fellowships including the PMF that would be awesome if I got. But I'm not putting all my eggs in that basket, and so I scour usajobs.gov for federal jobs and other sources. It's been discouraging at times when all these jobs require so much experience in the field. But I believe God will provide the right job at the right time. Just gotta hold onto faith.

So, my day-to-day schedule is packed. Sleep and even eating regularly have become a luxury. I try to squeeze in a Michigan game and a pro-football game in the weekends, but doesn't always happen. To make things "worse," this schedule will continue next semester because I was informed that I got another internship next semester at the Dept. of State. And next semester, I have to write my thesis. I'm really excited about what God has graciously given me, but I'm also terrified that I'll burn out by the end of the year.

I've also begun checking out a new church plant in the city. I had been going to Open Door Presbyterian Church (which is in suburban Virginia) for the past year, but one of the pastors left to plant a church in downtown DC. I really liked the pastor when he was at ODPC, and I began wanting to go to a church closer to the city so that I could reach out to friends who live in DC and bring them out to church. They do church planting differently than HMCC (the only frame of reference I have when it comes to church planting). If you want to know specifically how they do it here, email me and I can share with you. I'm still undecided if I'm going to stick with the church plant, and I signed up for a small group at my previous church (it's definitely awesome and encouraging to be a part of it). So we'll see what happens.

This was a long long update, and for those of you who've lasted this far, I applaud you. If you haven't reached this point, then you are not my friend. Just kidding.

Shoot me an email, a phone call, or gchat. I'd love to keep in touch with all of you, my dear friends. =)

Laura Ling and Euna Lee

In today's Los Angeles Times, Laura Ling and Euna Lee give their personal account of their abduction, imprisonment, and release by the North Korean regime. What they attempted to do by going to China-North Korea border was brave. Along with the two reporters, I also share the importance of shedding the truth about the plight of North Korean refugees. But while I do share in their passion, I also question the implications of the outcome of their plight. I'm not saying that they deserved the ten years of hard labor. But something about their story doesn't sit well with me.

Journalism, like in many professions, is a competitive world where everyone is trying to get an exclusive story to get a comparative advantage. That's the nature of the business. Ms. Ling and Ms. Lee were caught up in this business, knowing the risks of traveling to the border. But in their cost-benefit analysis, they figured doing this story was worth the risk. That's what journalists do to produce quality works of journalism.

But in the process of their reporting, they got caught. Caught for what? To westerners, they were merely doing their journalistic duties of exposing the truth. But to the North Korean regime, they were engaging in "hostile acts." One must understand that for the North Korean regime, its political legitimacy stems from its ultra-nationalistic sentiment against "imperialists" who threaten its very existence. The term "human rights" is nonexistent in the North Korean vocabulary, and the regime views those who illegally cross into China as traitors and subversive elements. So in this context, a reporting of North Korean refugees could be interpreted by North Korea as a hostile act, an act to undermine Kim Jong Il's government (which for us is ridiculous and laughable). In their drive to report on a story they were passionate about, they badly miscalculated the political realities of the region and put themselves in danger. They also admitted entering North Korea illegally. It was their wisdom to ignore the laws and endanger themselves. Whether North Korean guards captured them in China is a secondary issue.

What is more, their arrest and subsequent release has endangered human rights activists in Northeast China, forcing many church leaders involved in the North Korean refugee issue to temporarily cease activities along the border. And I think this is the part about this entire crisis that bothers me. For the past two decades, Christian missionaries, human rights activists, and others have been tirelessly working on behalf of these North Korean refugees. Many have paid dearly with their lives. Many more continue to work unafraid. Then come along two American reporters whose adventure puts all their work in peril. It's unfortunate.

At the end of the day, not many remember what the original intent of these two reporters were. All that people remember is the fact that they got caught and sentenced to ten years of hard labor until former President Bill Clinton negotiated for their release. So what exactly did their trip accomplish except making US-North Korean tensions worse and life harder for aid workers along the China-North Korea border? And I'm supposed to be so sympathetic to these reporters? I'm not so sure I can do that.

I'm thrilled they've returned safely to their families. But something about the LA Times piece appears to be an attempt to exonerate themselves amidst criticisms from many South Korean church leaders and human rights activists whose lives are heavily invested in this kind of work, unlike Ms. Lee or Ms. Ling. Sometimes, passion and idealism can have unintended consequences that could be detrimental.

Exactly One Year

One year.

One year ago, I was packing eight years of my life into a single mid-size sedan and driving hundreds of miles to a brand new city to start a brand life.

One year ago, I was bidding farewell to people that became like family.

One year ago, I was starry-eyed, arriving in the nation's capital with all these dreams and expectations.

A lot has changed in that one year. Nothing has changed either. I am a living a new life consisting of attending classes, writing papers, networking, and finding a new community. Yet I am also reminded that I am still the same sinner saved by grace alone.

I would like to think one year has changed me into a more complete, more mature, more wise, more confident, more diligent, more holy, more loving, more forgiving, more sacrificial person. I would like to think that I have everything figured out: what I'll be studying; what I'll be doing next year, in five years, in ten, in fifty; who I'll be spending the rest of my life with; how God will use me in His divine purposes. But I am not sure if I have changed and not sure what the future holds in store for me. I am still like a child, full of flaws and faults, holding the hands of a loving father, trusting that he knows where I need to go.

It has been a trying and difficult year in some aspects. It also also been exciting and thrilling in others. I am thankful for all the experiences, bumps and bruises included. There have been times my soul has cried out in anguish, and I've pleaded for God to remove the thorns. There have also been times when grace never seemed so amazing, and my eyes melted into tears of joy.

I have probably failed God more times than I have pleased Him. I have probably done things that I should not have and did not do things that I should have.

But God has reminded me on a daily basis that I am still a work in progress. I will stumble and fall many more times. I will disappoint and be disappointed many more times. And all the mistakes I have made, am making, and will make will be redeemed somehow in some time that God would so choose.

MJ Mania

Yesterday, the so-called "King of Pop" was eulogized at a memorial service in downtown Los Angeles. While watching the live feed of the memorial service at work, I could not help but find amusement in what turned out to be a media circus instead of a real memorial. For the record, I admire his artistic genius, the way his music inspired others, and the way he gave attention to social needs around the world.

I find it so ironic that millions of "fans" around the world were crying at the loss of their musical "hero" when just a few years ago, none of them would have gone out in public to defend and support him during his several legal troubles involving child molestation. Where were these so called fans who were seen on television weeping and lamenting when Michael Jackson pulled one of his many strange antics in recent memory?

And then at the memorial service, there were a few things that stood out to me. What right did Kobe Bryant and Magic Johnson have in speaking at MJ's service other than the fact that they played basketball in the same city where MJ lived? And what the heck was Magic talking about when he claimed MJ made him a better point guard?

Of course Al Sharpton had another one of his moments when he elevated MJ's contribution to the civil rights movement on par with or surpassing that of Martin Luther King Jr's. And he proceeded to say that "there was nothing wrong with Michael Jackson" and turned a memorial service into a rant about racism.

Then there was the price tag on this entire show: $3.5 million. And who would fit that bill? Why, no other than the near bankrupt City of Los Angeles. Nevermind the city closed down a 6-lane freeway just to transport MJ's hearst. After all, it isn't like LA suffers from the worst traffic congestion in the US...(that was sarcasm if you didn't get it). At a time when LA and the state of California faces one of its worse budget crisis that threatens to shut down the government, at a time when jobs such as police officers and teachers are being shed so quickly, the thoughtful family sends a $3.5 million dollar bill to city officials (again, sarcasm). The argument that such a large public event will produce a net economic gain for the city is misplaced since statistical economic analysis of large sporting events have marginal economic benefits. But that is besides the point.

And then the media coverage has been laughable. Is it really "breaking news" that Paris, MJ's daughter, said he was the best father imaginable? Is that what journalism has come down to? At a time when hundreds are dying in the worst ethnic fighting in recent memory in China, when genocide continues to happen in Darfur, when Iran's political situation is still illegitimate, Paris's remarks is what CNN calls breaking news?

At the end of the day, I'm sick of all these "fans" worshipping MJ as if he were God incarnate, without blemish. It was mortifying hearing Al Sharpton tell a revisionist version of MJ's life, that his kids had nothing to be ashamed of regarding their father. Regardless if MJ wasn't convicted of any of the child molestation charges (note: multiple allegations), you cannot possibly say that he's completely innocent when he reached a $20 million settlement with one of his allegers. If you're innocent, why cut a deal with the accuser? Then there's the baby dangling issue, his multiple facial reconstruction and skin issue, his mismanagement of his finances leading to enormous debt, and the list goes on. Yes kids, you have nothing to be ashamed of...just like every child in this world has a perfect dad (again, sarcasm).

Yes, yesterday was a memorial service, and in memorial services, its important for the family and friends to bring closure to the loss of a loved one. And I respect that. I do not argue that it must have been emotionally difficult for the family, especially the children. But to make a memorial into some political, revisionist, and often inappropriate charade (note the horrible performance by Mariah Carey, who wore a rather overwhelming outfit that exposed just a bit too much of herself) was more humorous than anything else.

The world lost an iconic entertainer for sure. But let's not make him out into a saint in the midst of the mania that has somehow swept across the world.

Separatism and Missions

As the struggle for Iran's political future continues, albeit largely overshadowed by the media's saturated coverage of Michael Jackson's death, there's another struggle that is bursting at the seams of another authoritarian government. In Xinjiang Uyghur Autonomous Region, the Uyghur minorities are taking to the streets in Urumqi and Kashgar to voice their displeasure against the communist government. Theirs is a long and tense history fueled by racism and brutality from both sides. In order to keep stability at all costs, the Chinese government has pulled all the stops by turning off the internet and social networking tools and clamping down on the riots that have already claimed hundreds of lives according to official count.

Media coverage of this new rebellion is hardly as colorful as the Iranian struggle and even the "saffron revolution" in Burma in 2007. Is it because all Uyghurs have been generally portrayed as separatists and terrorists according to China, the United States, and the European Union? Perhaps. But whatever the reason for the limited media coverage on this issue, this recent spade of violence in Xinjiang saddens me on a personal level.

It was only two summers ago that I walked the very streets where blood has been shed these past few days. In the Uyghur sections of Urumqi and Kashgar, my team and I snapped photos, talked with locals, and even shared the gospel of Jesus Christ. The smell of fresh naan and lamb meat is still freshly vivid as is the signs of decay in the shanties. Children played with plastic bottles in lieu of toys, unemployed men loitered around the local mosques, and women covered from head to toe walked down the streets. The people I talked to voiced their displeasure of Americans and of the Han Chinese. They talked about their grievances--of lack of economic opportunities, of limited freedom to worship, of exploitation, of secondary social status, etc. They talked about George Bush and how his wars have only exacerbated their conditions.

These were the people we lived with for three weeks. These people, most of whom had never heard of Jesus Christ, were the ones that God called a team of eleven college and young adults to preach the good news to. These people, whom we had previously never knew existed, would open our eyes to a new world and teach us how much God so loves his people.

But as the state clamps down on these very people we reached out, I often find myself having a very pessimistic view of the situation. The missionary that we worked with in Urumqi had said that one of the main obstacles for Uyghurs to put their trust in God is that there is no viable indigenous churches in Xinjiang. And to make matters worse, the burgeoning underground church movement in China has largely skipped ethnic minorities, especially in the western part of China due to the long and complicated history between the Han majority and their ethnic minority peers. And if race relations between the Hans and Uyghurs continues to escalate into violence, how will the gospel penetrate into this lost people group?

But at the end of the day, I'm reminded that God is the one in charge, not me. My pessimist view on reality is dwarfed by the way God can work in impossible situations. Even in such a tense climate, I'm challenged to have faith that God is at work even when we cannot see it. It just reminds me that I need to be more dilligent in praying for the people that I met and for a local church to grow and reach the lost.

Cost of Freedom

A few nights ago, I tossed and turned, unable to fall asleep. Halfway across the world, my peers were standing up against a political establishment, itself, established from popular uprising three decades ago. As I lay in bed that night, I thought about the parallel lives that these young and courageous Iranians were living. Risking imprisonment and even death, they took to the streets in the biggest sign of uprising in the thirty-year history of the current Iranian theocracy. Moussavi, himself, has indicated that he would accept martyrdom in the pursuit of greater freedom.

I often take the freedom that I enjoy for granted. For all its flaws, the American political experiment has survived the test of time, insurrections, wars, and other external/internal factors. It enumerates freedoms that I, as a citizen, am entitled to, and the justice system is, in theory, out to ensure due process of law. I am able to freely express myself, among other things, and anticipate my voice to be heard. I have economic opportunities with the possibility of upward social mobility. I don't fear the state's security apparatus barging into my apartment and dragging me off to prison on trumped up charges. I have the ability to gather in public rallies and demonstrations. I can move around the country and the world without government approval. The benefits of living in an open society can go on and on.

Like many outside of Iran, I've been glued to the television and the internet, watching and reading the most current news coming from Iran. I was particularly moved when it was reported that protesters addressed the issue of government crackdown on public rallies. They said that a million lives lost for greater democracy would be worth it for the forty-some million other Iranians and subsequent generations. This is the cost of freedom. Generations before have all paid their dues, many with their own dear lives. In America and in the rest of the world, brave men and women, often students, have shouldered the call to have their voices heard.

Hopefully, future Iranians and global citizens will look to July 2009 as another watershed moment in the pursuit of greater freedoms.