Marriage and Men

In the past three weeks, I've been to two weddings; in the past three months, I've been to three. In the next month, I'll have gone to two more; in the next four months, I'll have gone to three. In the span of eight months, I'll have attended six weddings and missed out on several more. It is the season of mass weddings, and though it is taking a toll on my already limited budget, I couldn't be happier for my friends who have tied or are tying the knot.

All these weddings have obviously got me thinking about my own status. Though I do wish I could at least be in a relationship, I am thoroughly content in my singleness in my current state. I've got enough immediate concerns with graduate school; but then again, if God were to make it abundantly clear to be in a relationship, so be it; I'd embrace that additional responsibility in a heartbeat for sure.

With that thought and fresh from Dave and Sarah's wedding this past weekend, I listened to a powerful and convicting sermon dealing about relationships/marriage given by none other than Pastor Mark Driscoll of Mars Hill Church out in Seattle. I'm telling you, the man is anointed. He spoke about how men in the church fall into two extreme camps: chauvinism or cowardice. Falling into either of these categories distorts the institution of marriage, and at the end of the day, the fault lies with the men. The sermon wasn't necessarily a new topic, but God used it powerfully to speak to me about my flaws as a man and how much more I need to grow in my character before I'm called to be responsible for another person in my life.

One thing that I've heard him often say is guys tend to think that marriages will make them men, and he rips that philosophy apart. I have to agree with him. As I'm learning what it means to be a man of God, it starts with taking responsibility for my own life. It starts with spending time with God daily. It starts with loving my neighbors as myself. It starts with basic responsbilities like getting a job, cleaning after myself, being organized. How could I expect to take responsibility for another person when I'm having trouble taking care of my own affairs?

I vouch for men like Dave, Moses, and Paul. I respect men like Pastor Jimmy, Yohan, and Davis. They, among others, are good men, striving to be like Christ. I believe God will bless their marriages abundantly as they love their wives as Christ loved the Church. I'm excited for them, and I hope that God would continue to grow me so I can be with someone who I will lay my life down for as Christ gave up His life for the Church. But until then, I will work on the plethora of flaws I find in myself (not including the many others that other people may find in me).

Friends

This past weekend was Paul and Gina's "wedding" in Chicago. It's always awesome to see two friends come together and be able to celebrate their joyous occasion. It was also great to reconnect with old friends again, especially some whom I have not seen in quite awhile. Even though there was not enough hours in a day to catch up with all of them, it felt great to see familiar faces again.

On the way home, I realized how special these friends were. I remember coming to college thinking that my high school friends would be the people that I could lean on and call friends for the rest of my life. But years later, I can safely say that although I still cherish my high school friends, at least those that I've still kept in touch with, the friendships made in college are the ones that have lasted.

I'm not sure why I got really sentimental last night. It's not like it was the first time I've had reunions of sorts with some college friends since I've graduated and/or moved out of Ann Arbor. But for some reason, I really began to think about the friends I had made in college and how influential they've been in my young life. As I was talking to those friends that I only get to see at a big gathering of sorts, it's awesome to know that distance won't keep me apart from them. One of the things I'm learning is how much more valuable depth of friendship is to me than quantity of friends I have. Some friends have truly walked through the valleys with me, witnesses to God's continual redemption project. Some are relatively new friends, but equally as influential in my current state. Regardless, these are the brothers and sisters that I've come to appreciate--their hilarity, their rebukes, their prayers, their care, their concerns, and their company.

Even though my friends maybe all around the country and the world, they are still my friends whom I can trust. Though they are not perfect, they continually point me to the perfect one. That is all I can ask for.