Your Kindness Leads to Repentance

Harvest Mission Community Church had been my church for the last seven-plus years. It was the church that welcomed me, a sinner, into the arms of a mighty God. It was the church that showed me the full extent of God's love for all peoples. It was the church that taught me how to love the local body and to build up the body of Christ. And in the words of Paul, I thank my God every time I remember the church.

My relationship with the church, however, was not always rosy. I did not see eye-to-eye with the pastors all the time. I did not agree with some of the church's philosophy of ministry. I had issues with the structure of the organization. I questioned certain decisions. I took offense at comments directed at people. I definitely had many instances of bitterness, anger, and jadedness towards the church. I have definitely struggled in loving the church.

I tried to leave on a good note. I didn't want to leave on a bitter note like many of my friends. So I tried. And I thought I did a good job. But upon arriving in Washington D.C., God was revealing that I had not effectively dealt with the contentious issues I had with HMCC. I had merely bottled in the angst. I had not allowed God to heal me. Even as I got plugged into a church in the DC area, I took issues with the way the church in Ann Arbor operated, and it spilled over into arguments and debates with others.

It was only recently that God began the process of healing me. Hearing other people who had their own issues with the church share about their post-HMCC experience certainly helped. Visiting the Austin church also helped. But on the plane ride home from Austin, I listened to a sermon that was recommended by a friend. Pastor Mark Driscoll, lead pastor of Mars Hill Church, gave a sermon at a John Piper conference. He talks about the use of words in the church. One of the points he makes is that we need to pray for the shepherds. He says, "As ministers, we are far from being perfect. But many of us are doing our best. And we are grieved that the minds of our people should be more directed to our personal imperfections than to our divine message." Here I was, criticizing the weaknesses of the staff rather than focusing on the message of God and what it would have for me. Here I was, nitpicking on certain areas of minor disagreements that was preventing me from focusing on God and what He would have for me.

He also says, "Religious people preach repentance. They don't practice repentance. Religious people tell everyone to repent. They themselves fail to repent." I'm a bona fide pharisee. I had forgotten my roots as a sinner. I had gotten too caught up in the religiosity of serving in the church. I had become proud, somehow convincing myself that I knew better then anyone else and that what I had to say was worthy of an audience. I had neglected the Christian call to repentance, presuming a holier than though attitude. Other people should repent, not me. Through this sermon, God was revealing the magnitude of my sinfulness and how far from the cross I had swerved. And I found myself repenting on the plane and throughout the days to come.

I appreciate Harvest Mission Community Church. The church is composed of imperfect people who are trying their best to obey God. Do they have faults? Sure. But so do I. And that is the beauty of the grace of God. He uses imperfect people to proclaim the perfect love of God. Praise God.

If you are bitter or have issues with your church and/or others within the church, I highly recommend listening to this sermon. I pray that God would free you from the bondage of bitterness as He is doing in my life. Here is the link to the sermon. Feel free to drop a line or an email if you'd like to talk about the sermon and/or other issues.