This past Tuesday, in small group, we reflected on the cross and what the cross means to us. And as I was meditating on Scripture, the question that kept coming to mind was, "How much is Jesus worth to you?"
In all four Gospels, there is a story of a woman (only John's account notes her name as Mary) who brings an expensive perfume made of pure nard in an alabaster jar and pours all of it on Jesus. The writers note the price of the perfume as being three hundred Greek Denarii, equivalent to a full year's worth of wages. In the Matthew account of the story (Matthew 26:6-16), Judas Iscariot, one of the Twelve and future betrayer of Christ, becomes disillusioned and immediately goes to the chief priests, agreeing to betray Jesus for the price of 30 silver coins.
Mary Magdalene came to Jesus, unsolicited, and willingly spent a year's wage on Jesus Christ. As much as the price of the perfume is incredulous, the manner in which she anointed Jesus topped it off. John 12:3 says that she poured the perfume on Jesus' feet and wiped His feet with her hair. In ancient Palestine, everyone walked in sandals, and thereby people's feet would get really dirty. So for anyone to wash someone's feet, it meant complete humility on the part of the washer and a sign of honoring the person whose feet was being washed. Mary not only washes Jesus' feet, she does so with her hair. And for her deed, Jesus says, "She has done a beautiful thing to me...I tell you the truth, wherever the gospel is preached throughout the world, what she has done will also be told, in memory of her" (Mark 14:6-9).
Judas Iscariot, on the other hand, agrees to hand Jesus over to the enemy for thirty silver coins. Some agree that the worth of these silver coins came out to a month's wage back in those days. I find it interesting that thirty silver coins was the price of a slave in Biblical times. Having spent three years under Jesus, Judas sees Jesus as worth nothing more than a slave whom he can keep or sell, depending on his disposition.
How much do I value Jesus Christ in my life? I can say that I treasure Him above anything else, but actions speak louder than words. Is He worth a full year's wage? Can I run to Him, unsolicited, and give Him everything I have to live on because He is who He is, the Son of God, the savior of the world? Or is he only worth the price of a slave? When Jesus becomes inconvenient or hard to follow, do I just sell Him out for chump change?
When I look at the cross of Christ, I see how much God valued us. He gave to the ultimate degree. And all I can do is fall on my knees in repentance because I know I don't give my ultimate to Him. I am unworthy to be called your son.
For God (the greatest lover) so loved (the greatest degree) the world (the greatest number) that he gave (the greatest act) his only begotten son (the greatest gift) that whosoever (the greatest invitation) believes (the greatest
simplicity) in him (the greatest person) shall not perish (the greatest deliverance) but (the greatest difference) have (the greatest certainty) everlasting life(the greatest possession). John 3:16 (Martin Luther)
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
So Amazed
March 9. 2008.
A few days earlier, at work, I received an email from the admissions office at the School of International and Public Affairs at Columbia University. It was a succinct letter denying me of admissions to my dream school. I can't say that I was bitter or upset. I saw it coming, even though I had held out for what little hope I had. But even foreseeing the denial, I could not keep myself from worrying about subsequent decisions from schools. I began to doubt and took matters into my own hands. I needed a fall-back plan and began job-searching at work. I went into HMCC's prayer gathering kind of dejected. I found it difficult to pray, difficult to worship as my mind was going back to the letter I had received from Columbia. Again, God was showing me how much I had not learned about surrender. I began to journal, and as words were being written, I felt God challenge me again and again with a simple question: Who do you say that I am? I responded like Peter. In my mind, I didn't understand why God would keep asking me this question. You are the Christ, the messiah. But God would not let it go. Almost as if He was not fully satisfied with my answer, He probed deeper. Am I really your Christ and Lord? The day's reading for the 40 Days to Destiny Campaign came alive. And God was searching my heart to see if I really believed that Jesus was Lord of my life. On the outside, I tried to appear cool and collected. Oh God will provide. I'm surrendered. I'll be okay if I don't get into any schools. But on the inside, I was anxious. I didn't want to re-apply and look for new jobs, etc. But at the end of the day, I resigned and lifted up a short prayer. God, if you've really convicted me the past four years of a certain direction in life, then I want to trust that you will make it happen. God teach me to surrender daily.
3.11.08
After a long and eventful weekend, I came back from church and passed out in the living room. With my friends from out-of-town visiting for another friend's proposal to his girlfriend, I had quickly forgotten about the anxieties of graduate schools. But after I woke up from the much needed Sunday afternoon nap, I had an urge to check my mailbox. After all, I was expecting a package pertaining to my laptop. But instead, I found a large packet that resembled an admissions package. I quickly tore open the envelope to find an admissions letter from American University. I was floored. I had to read and reread the letter.
American University was definitely one of my top choices. It is ranked in the top ten international relations programs in the country. So when I found out I got accepted, I knew it was all by the grace of God. My academic standings were not all that great and I'm sure there were hundreds of more qualified applicants than me. So for me to gain acceptance into one of the best programs in the country was by far a miracle. It was almost as if God was saying, I created the heavens and the earth. I can move mountains. I can shake the earth. I can do all things. Throughout the night and even all of yesterday, I reflected a lot. I was talking to a brother about the process that God had taken me. And I'm so amazed. Eight years in Ann Arbor. Falling away and rejecting God. Crawling back like the prodigal son. A trip out to Southeast Asia. A trip out to China. Four years of serving the local church through thick and thin. Engineering. Pre-med. History. English. Journalism? Public Policy? International Relations. And here I stand. Completely amazed. Completely broken by the grace of God. Completely thankful for all the experiences God put me through. And I know He's not finished with me just yet.
A few days earlier, at work, I received an email from the admissions office at the School of International and Public Affairs at Columbia University. It was a succinct letter denying me of admissions to my dream school. I can't say that I was bitter or upset. I saw it coming, even though I had held out for what little hope I had. But even foreseeing the denial, I could not keep myself from worrying about subsequent decisions from schools. I began to doubt and took matters into my own hands. I needed a fall-back plan and began job-searching at work. I went into HMCC's prayer gathering kind of dejected. I found it difficult to pray, difficult to worship as my mind was going back to the letter I had received from Columbia. Again, God was showing me how much I had not learned about surrender. I began to journal, and as words were being written, I felt God challenge me again and again with a simple question: Who do you say that I am? I responded like Peter. In my mind, I didn't understand why God would keep asking me this question. You are the Christ, the messiah. But God would not let it go. Almost as if He was not fully satisfied with my answer, He probed deeper. Am I really your Christ and Lord? The day's reading for the 40 Days to Destiny Campaign came alive. And God was searching my heart to see if I really believed that Jesus was Lord of my life. On the outside, I tried to appear cool and collected. Oh God will provide. I'm surrendered. I'll be okay if I don't get into any schools. But on the inside, I was anxious. I didn't want to re-apply and look for new jobs, etc. But at the end of the day, I resigned and lifted up a short prayer. God, if you've really convicted me the past four years of a certain direction in life, then I want to trust that you will make it happen. God teach me to surrender daily.
3.11.08
After a long and eventful weekend, I came back from church and passed out in the living room. With my friends from out-of-town visiting for another friend's proposal to his girlfriend, I had quickly forgotten about the anxieties of graduate schools. But after I woke up from the much needed Sunday afternoon nap, I had an urge to check my mailbox. After all, I was expecting a package pertaining to my laptop. But instead, I found a large packet that resembled an admissions package. I quickly tore open the envelope to find an admissions letter from American University. I was floored. I had to read and reread the letter.
American University was definitely one of my top choices. It is ranked in the top ten international relations programs in the country. So when I found out I got accepted, I knew it was all by the grace of God. My academic standings were not all that great and I'm sure there were hundreds of more qualified applicants than me. So for me to gain acceptance into one of the best programs in the country was by far a miracle. It was almost as if God was saying, I created the heavens and the earth. I can move mountains. I can shake the earth. I can do all things. Throughout the night and even all of yesterday, I reflected a lot. I was talking to a brother about the process that God had taken me. And I'm so amazed. Eight years in Ann Arbor. Falling away and rejecting God. Crawling back like the prodigal son. A trip out to Southeast Asia. A trip out to China. Four years of serving the local church through thick and thin. Engineering. Pre-med. History. English. Journalism? Public Policy? International Relations. And here I stand. Completely amazed. Completely broken by the grace of God. Completely thankful for all the experiences God put me through. And I know He's not finished with me just yet.
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