Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Exactly One Year

One year.

One year ago, I was packing eight years of my life into a single mid-size sedan and driving hundreds of miles to a brand new city to start a brand life.

One year ago, I was bidding farewell to people that became like family.

One year ago, I was starry-eyed, arriving in the nation's capital with all these dreams and expectations.

A lot has changed in that one year. Nothing has changed either. I am a living a new life consisting of attending classes, writing papers, networking, and finding a new community. Yet I am also reminded that I am still the same sinner saved by grace alone.

I would like to think one year has changed me into a more complete, more mature, more wise, more confident, more diligent, more holy, more loving, more forgiving, more sacrificial person. I would like to think that I have everything figured out: what I'll be studying; what I'll be doing next year, in five years, in ten, in fifty; who I'll be spending the rest of my life with; how God will use me in His divine purposes. But I am not sure if I have changed and not sure what the future holds in store for me. I am still like a child, full of flaws and faults, holding the hands of a loving father, trusting that he knows where I need to go.

It has been a trying and difficult year in some aspects. It also also been exciting and thrilling in others. I am thankful for all the experiences, bumps and bruises included. There have been times my soul has cried out in anguish, and I've pleaded for God to remove the thorns. There have also been times when grace never seemed so amazing, and my eyes melted into tears of joy.

I have probably failed God more times than I have pleased Him. I have probably done things that I should not have and did not do things that I should have.

But God has reminded me on a daily basis that I am still a work in progress. I will stumble and fall many more times. I will disappoint and be disappointed many more times. And all the mistakes I have made, am making, and will make will be redeemed somehow in some time that God would so choose.